1. Last night, on my way to bed at *#@^ in the morning (yes, another laaaate night writing), I stepped on a pile of clothes pins left beside my bed.
2. See? They're trying to kill me.
3. This morning, Starshine ran into my room, locked eyes on the pile of clothes pins and said, "Hey Mom! Did you see my swords?"
4. Why yes. Yes I did.
5. I'm now in the market for a pair of steel-toed slippers to use for the dangerous pathway between my bathroom door and my side of the bed.
6. My hubby is taking the kids to see Kung Fu Panda today.
7. Fortunately, this means they will have a fun afternoon and I will have some quiet for writing.
8. Unfortunately, they started "practicing" kung fu on each other the minute they heard they were going and I've now exchanged my nurse/referee cap for the hat of Instant Executioner for the next boy who decides to chop his brother upside the head.
9. Two nights ago at work, Paul and another friend of ours (who shall remain nameless unless she chooses to claim credit in the comments section...lol. I'll call her K.) got into a battle.
10. Mashed potatoes were slung, rags were snapped, and grits were wiped as they did their best to one up each other.
11. Then Paul decided to pretend he was shoving a cup of mustard into K's nose.
12. K turned on him and told him that if he did it, she would blow snot out of her nose onto the cup.
13. The only problem with this statement was that K has enthusiastic body language when she talks. She illustrated her point with what was supposed to be a demonstration of the dry run variety.
14. Instead, Paul got a face full of snot.
15. We've now dubbed K Snot Slinger.
16. I laughed so hard I couldn't stand up.
17. At the pool this weekend, Starshine and Daredevil were in the 3 ft playing when Starshine suddenly called to me, "Hey Mom! I'm going to go under and when I come up, I'm going to be someone else! See if you can guess who."
18. He dunked and then exploded out of the water screaming "I'm Satan!" with his arms waving wildly and his face contorted into a ferocious glare.
19. Daredevil instantly turned to him and said, "Well, I'm God" and shoved Starshine back under the water.
20. No wonder my neighbors watch my home so carefully as they walk their dogs.