1. Last night, on my way to bed at *#@^ in the morning (yes, another laaaate night writing), I stepped on a pile of clothes pins left beside my bed.
2. See? They're trying to kill me.
3. This morning, Starshine ran into my room, locked eyes on the pile of clothes pins and said, "Hey Mom! Did you see my swords?"
4. Why yes. Yes I did.
5. I'm now in the market for a pair of steel-toed slippers to use for the dangerous pathway between my bathroom door and my side of the bed.
6. My hubby is taking the kids to see Kung Fu Panda today.
7. Fortunately, this means they will have a fun afternoon and I will have some quiet for writing.
8. Unfortunately, they started "practicing" kung fu on each other the minute they heard they were going and I've now exchanged my nurse/referee cap for the hat of Instant Executioner for the next boy who decides to chop his brother upside the head.
9. Two nights ago at work, Paul and another friend of ours (who shall remain nameless unless she chooses to claim credit in the comments section...lol. I'll call her K.) got into a battle.
10. Mashed potatoes were slung, rags were snapped, and grits were wiped as they did their best to one up each other.
11. Then Paul decided to pretend he was shoving a cup of mustard into K's nose.
12. K turned on him and told him that if he did it, she would blow snot out of her nose onto the cup.
13. The only problem with this statement was that K has enthusiastic body language when she talks. She illustrated her point with what was supposed to be a demonstration of the dry run variety.
14. Instead, Paul got a face full of snot.
15. We've now dubbed K Snot Slinger.
16. I laughed so hard I couldn't stand up.
17. At the pool this weekend, Starshine and Daredevil were in the 3 ft playing when Starshine suddenly called to me, "Hey Mom! I'm going to go under and when I come up, I'm going to be someone else! See if you can guess who."
18. He dunked and then exploded out of the water screaming "I'm Satan!" with his arms waving wildly and his face contorted into a ferocious glare.
19. Daredevil instantly turned to him and said, "Well, I'm God" and shoved Starshine back under the water.
20. No wonder my neighbors watch my home so carefully as they walk their dogs.
Oh, Lordy, woman.
ReplyDeleteYou're going to kill me with these posts. *laughs*
I swear if my computer monitor is ruined by these "spit-take blog posts" I'll be sending you the bill.
*snort*
--Chiron
*chokes on coffee and slaps herself because she knows better than to drink while reading C.J.'s blog*
ReplyDeleteAt least you can be satisfied to know that they have chosen really great protagonists/antagonists for their action scenes... imagine if they came up with insipid characters instead? Then you'd be worried they had no imagination.
ReplyDeleteHubby threw a tanty last night because the kids had messed up the house after he had helped clean it. I stood there in shock as he ranted and raved about how hard he worked to get it clean... oh really, and what do I do day in day out? So when he calmed down I let him know that this feeling he had of being unappreciated and put upon is what I face every day. And if I don't throw a wobbly he has no right to either. I'm first in line when it comes to tanty throwing... Men! Meanwhile the twinlings and Mister3 were looking on thinking daddy was being silly again. And what do you think they did when he finished his rave? You guessed it, mess! My children are weapons of mass destruction...
Chiron -
ReplyDeleteCJ's blog comes with a standing "do not eat or drink while reading" warning.
It works the same with her books just to forewarn you. :D
Katy
Lol...Perhaps I need to find a Beverage Warning icon for some of my posts...
ReplyDeleteLoL! I wonder if K is in the movie Mystery Men? She slings justice in the face of Evil! :D
ReplyDeleteOooh, good call! Maybe Mayberry will make her a cape just like she made for Wonder Woman, err, I mean, Paul!
ReplyDelete=D
Oh. My. God. That's the funniest thing I've read all day! Glad I wasn't taking a drink! =p
ReplyDeleteNatalie - LOL! I agree. My children are weapons of mass destruction too!
ReplyDeleteYes...thanks. It was an experience. Sadly as I got double teamed, there was no one there (mainly my best friend...cough cough) to back me up. =(
ReplyDeleteNo capes mentioned or involved woman.
Aww, poor guy! If I'd known you couldn't handle two little females at once, I would have jumped in!
ReplyDelete*the snot slinger makes her grand entrance*
ReplyDeleteIn my defense, Paul popped me with a towel a few weeks ago and left a bruise. He is totally deserving of the mini snot fest that took place on his face.
Totally deserving.
There's more where that came from.
*laughs til she cries*
ReplyDeleteI'll be going around all day today saying "I'm Satan!" and laughing. Thanks!
Paul's back! I was beginning to think you'd abandoned C.J.
ReplyDeleteNow, where can I send your cape?
We can have a dual of the Caped Ones.
ReplyDeleteWonder Woman vs. Snot Slinger
Do you think the gold bracelets ward off mucus?
I never abandon. =)
ReplyDeleteI just finally had to give in and pay for internet rather than pirate a signal with a wireless card. =(
Send my cape to:
911 Youre Gonna die Circle.
Doomsville, TN. 37666.
=)
OH LOL on that address, Paul!!!
ReplyDeleteThank God I wasn't eating or we'd have a repeat of the chicken snorting incident.