A Week In The Life Of

 I haven't blogged in over a week, and I have excellent pretty good reasons for that lapse.

1. After my post on SPEAKing Out, I felt a bit raw emotionally and was too drained to really think of anything else to say for a while.

2. Even though there were some highly interesting blog-worthy things that happened last week.

3. Such as the fact that I went with my family to our neighborhood cookout, sat near a petting zoo, and watched in absolute horror as a goat kept trying to CLIMB OVER THE FENCE.

4. No doubt he heard the siren call of his Zombie Goat brethren and was attempting to join them.

5. Or he fancied the chicken sandwich on my plate.

6. Shockingly enough, he wasn't the most disturbing animal in the menagerie.

7. There was an emo llama. Which was more amusing than disturbing.

8. But worse than the Goat With Marauding Tendencies, the Emo Llama, the pig, the sheep, and the deceptively cute little bunnies, was the duck.

Not actual petting zoo duck. Second cousin fourth removed on his mother's side.

9. And not one of Awesome Agent Holly's Revision Duck Mafia. No. THIS was the kind of duck hired to clean up after the Revision Duck Mafia because only a duck like this one would think a job like that reeked of awesomesauce.

10. This duck made it a habit to hang around the business end of the llama, the sheep, and the goat, waiting for the inevitable.

11. And when the inevitable hit the ground in pellets and piles of steaming nastiness, HE ATE IT.

12. Once, while he was eating it, the llama PEED ON HIS BACK.

13. If anyone ever tries again to convince me that barnyard animals make excellent housepets (I've been told pigs, goats, bunnies, and ducks all qualify), I will simply recall the spectacle of a duck eating a pile of goat poop while being peed on by a llama IN FRONT OF INNOCENT CHILDREN and will find within myself the fortitude to refuse such a ridiculous idea.

14. When I wasn't watching the occupants of a traveling petting zoo and losing my appetite in the process, I was working.

15. A lot.

16. I'll be working overtime every week from now until into November.

17. Which means I'll have to try extra hard to blog on time. And my sentences may or may not be coherent.

18. Read at your own risk.

19. One of the things I did at work this past week was run a two hour meeting for my skill trainers team. I'd spent hours planning this. The theme was Teamwork and I put together a tailgate party in the back parking lot, complete with team building games, a table full of food, prizes, and recognition. It was two hours packed with fun, laughter, healthy competition, and amazing brainstorming.

20. Too bad I forgot to zip up my pants.

21. Yes, dear reader, I ran that entire two hour meeting with my barn door wide open.

22. And NO ONE TOLD ME until the meeting was over.

23. Bunch of traitors.

24. When I wasn't parading around in front of my team with some extra ventilation in my pants, I was watching our adoption process pick up speed.

25. Child matches from China were mailed earlier this week which means we'll get to see our daughter's picture FINALLY by the end of this week!!

26. Yes, I'll post it on the blog.

27. We have a ton of work to do between now and when we leave for China, but it feels like our five year pregnancy has finally reached the point where we've gone into labor.

28. The fact that the labor will last for two more months is nothing.

29. I can't wait to share her with you.

30. And finally, during my week long hiatus from blogging, my grandma had her 89th birthday.

31. She was pretty convinced we were lying to her about her age.

32. Daredevil talked to her on the phone, asked how old she was now, and when he heard her say 89, he said the following: "Wow! You're like a turtle, or something."

33. She thinks his lack-of-filter responses are funny.

34. I'm grateful.

35. Beware of ducks.