Interview With Rachel Vincent

I've been a fan of Rachel's writing since I picked up STRAY, the first in her adult were-cat series. I was immediately immersed in the culture of the werecats, identified with the characters, and couldn't put the book down because I had to KNOW what happened next. When Rachel started writing YA as well, I couldn't wait to try her series. It has everything I love about Rachel's writing; vivid world-building, action-packed suspense, and fiesty characters I want to know (or want to kill ... all depending).  Here's a peek at her recent YA release, MY SOUL TO STEAL.

YOU WANT MY SOUL AND MY BOYFRIEND?

Trying to work things out with Nash—her maybe boyfriend—is hard enough for Kaylee Cavanaugh. She can’t just pretend nothing happened. But “complicated” doesn’t even begin to describe their relationship when his ex-girlfriend transfers to their school, determined to take Nash back.

 See, Sabine isn’t just an ordinary girl. She’s a mara, the living personification of a nightmare. She can read people’s fears—and craft them into nightmares while her victims sleep. Feeding from human fear is how she survives.

And Sabine isn’t above scaring Kaylee and the entire school to death to get whatever—and whoever—she wants.

I DON'T THINK SO.

When I asked Rachel to be interviewed on the blog, she chose the Spork of Doom. I believe the Spork may have finally met his match!

Spork of Doom

Rachel Vincent

Before we get to today's interview, it's time to reveal the amazing cupcake my hubby made for Rachel. (He would like Rachel to know he had to look up the word variegated before he could completely understand what kind of leaves she was talking about and that because of her extensive vocabulary, he spent much of his time cursing all writers in general.) Because one of the characters in MY SOUL TO STEAL feeds on people's fear and crafts nightmares for a living, my hubby decided to make a nightmare cupcake (complete with the curse-worthy variegated vines Rachel mentioned played a big role in the book). Without further ado, I give you the nightmare cupcake and Rachel vs. the Spork of Doom.

Nightmare Cupcake with VARIEGATED leaves

1. I’m all about world domination, and I’m always looking for good help. Why would you be an acceptable minion in my quest?


I wouldn’t. I’m no one’s minion.

2. *gives you doomy glare of DOOM* That's what they all say. At first. Being a Spork of Doom takes moxie. What’s the sporkiest thing you’ve ever done?

This interview.

3. When I’m not busy taking over the world, I like to eat pie. What kind of pie do you think is worthy of my Spork of Doom status?

I make a mean homemade deep dish caramel apple pie. But I don’t think you could handle it. That’s a lot of pie.

4. You DARE to cast aspersions upon my pie-eating ability? Tread carefully, madam. The last fool who questioned me got a tine in the cornea and spent the rest of his days going by the unflattering moniker Spork-Eyed Wilbur. What’s your favorite thing to do with a spork?

Eat noodles. The fork wrangles the noodles, the spoon holds the broth. Perfection.

5. Perfection indeed. *preens* I have the ability to be simultaneously spoon, fork, and weapon of mass destruction. What unique ability do you have?

I have the ability to snap a spork with only my mind. Fear me.

6. Spork-Eyed Rachel. It has a ring to it, don't you think? In this day and age, a savvy spork bent on world domination can’t afford to ignore a good marketing campaign. I’m thinking t-shirts with “Spork or Die.” If you made a shirt with your own slogan on it, what would it say?

“Save a Spork; Eat a Shish Kabob”

7. If I had to compare myself to anyone in history, I’d have to say I’m most like Napoleon. Only skinnier. And shinier. And smart enough not to lose my empire at a place with a ridiculous name like Waterloo. Who are you most like and why?

Any hermit who fights her battles with a pen.

8. I don't need a pen. I have titanium tines. Why is your job just as much fun as world domination?

Because I get to create entire worlds, not just dominate them.

9. *reconsiders the merit of a pen* In between conquests, I like to read a good story. What can you recommend and why?

The Forrest of Hands and Teeth. The only thing missing from that one was a spork.

10. So many authors fail to realize the genius of including a spork in their magnum opus. You need to accomplish a secret, night-time mission as my minion. Cloak? No cloak? Why?

Again, I’m no one’s minion.

11. Never mind my earlier nickname for you. I've changed my mind. Keep up the sass and henceforth you shall be known only as Rachel the Sporked. My best piece of advice to others is this: “Fear the spork!” What’s your best advice?

If you’re facing down a hellion with nothing more than a spork…run.

*glares* Fine. Run. But leave the pie. The pie is MINE.


Thank you, Rachel, for such an entertaining interview! To learn more about Rachel, visit her site. To purchase MY SOUL TO STEAL (Remember, it's book 4 in the Soul Screamers series. Start with MY SOUL TO TAKE.) go here.

Of course, the fun isn't over yet! Rachel is giving away a signed copy of MY SOUL TO STEAL to one lucky commenter. The contest is open internationally. Here's how to enter:

1. Earn entries:


*Comment on this post = 1 entry
*Be a follower of this blog = 2 entries

*Tweet the link to this interview = 3 entries (Use @cjredwine or leave url to tweet in your comment so I can see it.)

*Post the contest on your blog or facebook= 3 entries (Include link in your comment.)


2. Tally it up:

Please tally up your entries and leave the total in your comment.

3. Check back:

The contest is open until 8 p.m. (central time) Sunday, April 3rd. Please check back to see if you've won and to claim your prize!

Good luck to all, and happy reading!

Winner of DARKNESS BECOMES HER

Thank you to all who entered the contest to win a signed copy of Kelly Keaton's DARKNESS BECOMES HER. As always, I used random.org to pick the winner. And the winner is

Rachel Leigh

Congratulations, Rachel! Please email me with your shipping info and I'll forward it on to Kelly. Thanks again for entering and happy reading!

Finished!

Tonight, at about 3:23 a.m. (so technically this morning, but whatever) I typed THE END on my current manuscript.

That means I get to turn it in on time.

And it means I need a serious nap.

I'm so excited about this book!! It's the biggest and best thing I've ever written. I hope to get to share it with you soon. But first, off to agent Holly!

On Dreaming

I was going to write a post about following your dreams (it's been percolating in the block of Swiss cheese I call my brain for a couple of weeks now), but then I saw this commercial on another blog and realized nothing I could possibly say would ever live up to this:



With thanks to Josh Spector on whose blog I found this.

Interview With Kelly Keaton

I adore Kelly Gay's adult urban fantasy series. Her worldbuilding is lush, her characters captivating, and her plot full of fabulous twists. So, when she told me she had a YA coming out under the pen name Kelly Keaton, I couldn't wait to get my hands on it! Take a peek at the summary and the book trailer, and I'll bet you'll feel the same:

Ari can’t help feeling lost and alone. With teal eyes and freakish silver hair that can’t be changed or destroyed, Ari has always stood out. And after growing up in foster care, she longs for some understanding of where she came from and who she is.

Her search for answers uncovers just one message from her long dead mother: Run. Ari can sense that someone, or something, is getting closer than they should. But it’s impossible to protect herself when she doesn’t know what she’s running from or why she is being pursued.

She knows only one thing: she must return to her birthplace of New 2, the lush rebuilt city of New Orleans. Upon arriving, she discovers that New 2 is very...different. Here, Ari is seemingly normal. But every creature she encounters, no matter how deadly or horrifying, is afraid of her.

Ari won’t stop until she knows why. But some truths are too haunting, too terrifying, to ever be revealed.

See what I mean? Holy Awesomesauce, Batgirl. The second I turn in my current novel, I'm reading this! I couldn't wait to have Kelly on the blog again, and this time, she decided to take on the Spork of Doom.

Spork of Doom

Kelly Keaton

Because DARKNESS BECOMES HER is set in New Orleans, Kelly asked for a Mardi Gras cupcake. My hubby rose to the challenge beautifully (Even though he was disappointed that I nixed his original design because while green and purple boobs are highly appropriate for Mardi Gras, there's something disturbing about the thought of multi-hued breasts made out of cake.) Without further ado, I give you the Mardi Gras cupcake and Kelly's interview with the Spork of Doom.

1. I’m all about world domination, and I’m always looking for good help. Why would you be an acceptable minion in my quest?

Because I like pie.


2. Your answer is acceptable. As long as you don't try to take my pie. Being a Spork of Doom takes moxie. What’s the sporkiest thing you’ve ever done?

Went to the mall in my flannel jammies and slippers. Hey, a dares a dare.

3. I dare you to help me take over the world. When I’m not busy taking over the world, I like to eat pie. What kind of pie do you think is worthy of my Spork of Doom status?

Cheesecake. It’s really a pie, people!

4. So few realize that. You're beginning to look like top notch minion material. What’s your favorite thing to do with a spork?

Pie!

5. I had no idea pie was a verb. *ponders this* You may be on to something. We should pie the entire world! Mwahahaha! Wait. You did mean "pie" in an evil, world domination sort of way, right? I have the ability to be simultaneously spoon, fork, and weapon of mass destruction. What unique ability do you have?

A stare down of awesome proportions.

6. If you stare yourself down in my shiny, titanium sides, would that cause an existential crisis for you? In this day and age, a savvy spork bent on world domination can’t afford to ignore a good marketing campaign. I’m thinking t-shirts with “Spork or Die.” If you made a shirt with your own slogan on it, what would it say?

Here Comes Trouble.

7. Interesting. Very, interesting. I think I'll use you as an advance guard. If I had to compare myself to anyone in history, I’d have to say I’m most like Napoleon. Only skinnier. And shinier. And smart enough not to lose my empire at a place with a ridiculous name like Waterloo. Who are you most like and why?

Queen Elizabeth I. Anyone who dons a silver breastplate over a white velvet gown to address the troops, rules an empire, and wears the Crown jewels is woman after my own heart.

8. Well, I suppose that's acceptable. But only if you remember all your empires belong to ME. Why is your job just as much fun as world domination?

Because I am a god in my world. I control everything.

9. Through the clever use of pie, no doubt. *is intrigued* In between conquests, I like to read a good story. What can you recommend and why?

I just read this book about the offspring of a spoon mum and a fork dad… very sad, misfit-feeling Spork he was. Could have led to the whole world domination thing *cough, biography! cough*

10. If being cut out to rule the world makes me a misfit, then pie on you and pie on everyone else! Now, BOW before my titanium fabulosity. You need to accomplish a secret, night-time mission as my minion. Cloak? No cloak? Why?

Definitely cloak at first. If I engage any bad guys, though, the cloak comes off in a flourish to flaunt my awesome Elektra-esque outfit as I dole out the whoopins.

11. I like your style. Especially since it sounds like your outfit will be shiny. You can never underestimate the power of shiny. My best piece of advice to others is this: “Fear the spork!” What’s your best advice?

Um, don’t forget to check that all clothing is in its proper place when you leave the bathroom?


Thank you for such a fun interview, Kelly! To learn more about Kelly, visit her site. To order your own copy of DARKNESS BECOMES HER (and you know you want to!), go here.

Of course, the fun isn't over yet! Kelly is giving away a signed copy of DARKNESS BECOMES HER along with some cool DBH swag! The contest is open internationally! Here's how to enter:

1. Earn entries:


*Comment on this post = 1 entry

*Be a follower of this blog = 2 entries

*Tweet the link to this interview = 3 entries (Use @cjredwine or leave url to tweet in your comment so I can see it.)

*Post the contest on your blog or facebook= 3 entries (Include link in your comment.)

2. Tally it up:

Please tally up your entries and leave the total in your comment.

3. Check back:

The contest is open until 8 p.m. (central time) Sunday, March 27th. Please check back to see if you've won and to claim your prize!

Good luck to all, and happy reading!

Accidental Idiocy Abounds

1. Because apparently nothing says sexy like a pair of spray painted goat hooves on your feet.

2. I worry about people sometimes. I really do.

3. I worry about myself more, though.

4. Because I have a habit of accidental idiocy.

5. Like when I couldn't figure out how to make gmail chat work this week (Don't. Ask.) and had to ask for instruction.

6. Bonus points to Mandy for not delivering said instruction with the scorn it deserved.

7. Or the time (also this week) when I couldn't understand how to work the new Google image thingy to get to the actual site, and Myra had to explain to me that I needed to close the pic first.

8. I'd give her bonus points for lack of scorn, but it was in her eyes.

9. And in her laugh.

10. So NO POINTS FOR YOU, MYRA.

11. But really the best example of accidental idiocy from this previous week is the following tweet I posted on Thursday night:

Have a quiet house and a Sonic peach teat. Going to dive into my WIP and write!

12. I'm sure you see the problem.

13. To my knowledge, Sonic has yet to offer its consumers flavored teats.

14. An oversight I'm sure they'll rectify once I provide them indisputable proof of its appeal.

15. I didn't realize my error until I checked my email some thirty minutes later and found COPIOUS emails from Twitter listing new followers of my account.

16. Most were those with some sort of teat fetish.

17. A few may have been misguided peach farmers.

18. It's possible there was a cow in the mix somewhere.

19. I'd like to smoothly transition into my next topic, but sadly, it has nothing to do with teats, or peach farmers, or cows and everything to do with BOYS.

20. Myra called me the other day while I was at Books A Million writing. The conversation went like this:

Myra: Hey. Um, I was just driving by your neighborhood on __insert busy street name here__ and I think I saw your children balancing on top of the subdivision sign right next to the busy street. I'm pretty sure they were your boys.

Me: Please tell me they were clothed?

Myra: Yeeeesss, I think so.

Me: Were they peeing on the cars as they drove past?

Myra: Definitely not.

Me: Well, that's something, at least.

Myra: Yeesss, but I thought maybe it was concerning because they are playing next to a really busy street?

Me: Oh. That. Yes. Of course. I'll call them right away.

And I did. And now they think I have spies everywhere. Which can only work to my advantage.

21. And because apparently I cannot think of a transition to save my life, I'm going to abruptly begin discussing progress on the book I'm turning in this coming weekend.

22. I've typed an insane amount of words over the last month.

23. Many of them were keepers.

24. Some of them were not.

25. I need to write 15k more (approximately) to finish the book. I'm really excited about this one. It's my first foray into the YA genre (Which is my go-to genre to read so I don't know why it took me so long to write it.).

26. There's really no way I can tie that in to ugly goat shoes, peach teats, or boys peeing on cars either because a) I'm mostly brain dead at the moment or b) ... nope, let's go with A.

27. Tune in Wednesday for an interview with debut YA author Kelly Keaton and her incredible novel DARKNESS BECOMES HER. Just the sneak peek of it will have you begging for more. I promise.

Winner of ACROSS THE UNIVERSE

Thank you to all who read the interview and entered the giveaway for a signed copy of Beth Revis's ACROSS THE UNIVERSE. As always, I used random.org to select the winner and the winner is:

Wanton Acts Of Writing

Congratulations! Please contact me with your mailing information, and I'll forward the info on to Beth. If you didn't win, I hope you'll pick up a copy of Beth's book next time you're at the store. You won't be sorry! Thanks again for entering and happy reading!

Interview With Beth Revis

Ever since I read the first chapter of ACROSS THE UNIVERSE sometime last fall, I've been anxiously waiting to get my hands on this book. And on the author. But in a totally appropriate way, of course. So, when I said something on Twitter in January and Beth Revis replied to me, I was momentarily stunned.

Um, Beth followed me? And wanted to talk to me? (I, of course, did NOT begin the conversation by saying I wanted to get my hands on her. I was far less suave and sophisticated. I believe I went so far as to try to bribe her with my hubby's pimp coat. She accepted.) To prove her mettle, she went right for the Were-llama as her interviewer. Brave soul.

Of course, this is the woman who writes about murder in space. Perhaps the Were-llama has met his match? Here's a peek at ACROSS THE UNIVERSE:

A love out of time. A spaceship built of secrets and murder.


Seventeen-year-old Amy joins her parents as frozen cargo aboard the vast spaceship Godspeed and expects to awake on a new planet, three hundred years in the future. Never could she have known that her frozen slumber would come to an end fifty years too soon and that she would be thrust into a brave new world of a spaceship that lives by its own rules.

Amy quickly realizes that her awakening was no mere computer malfunction. Someone—one of the few thousand inhabitants of the spaceship—tried to kill her. And if Amy doesn’t do something soon, her parents will be next.

Now, Amy must race to unlock Godspeed’s hidden secrets. But out of her list of murder suspects, there’s only one who matters: Elder, the future leader of the ship and the love she could never have seen coming.

Beth is giving away a signed copy of ACROSS THE UNIVERSE to one lucky commenter. Yay! But I'm not giving any of you the pimp coat. You'll have to get your own. Before I reveal how you could win ATU, let me introduce today's guests.

Were-llama

Beth Revis

Beth asked for a koi fish cupcake since koi fish are an important symbol in the book. My hubby, apparently feeling his zombie chops haven't been challenged enough recently, suggested he make a zombie koi fish instead, but I nixed that idea only to come home from work to find an email from Beth saying "GO FOR IT." It was, however, too late. A non-zombified koi fish cupcake had already been created. But you may feel free to photoshop decay and putrescence onto it if you wish. Without further ado, I give you the cupcake and Beth's interview with the Were-llama!

Koi Fish Cupcake, Pre-Zombification

1. So, you’re a writer. I’m a super-scary shape-shifter who can command obedience with the awesome power of my glowing red eyes. What do we have in common?

We are both excellent spitters.

2. I do admire a woman who can expectorate with skill. I like to spit at my enemies from whichever end is closest to them. Do any of your characters have cool abilities like that?

Well, my characters live on a space ship, and one of them has the ability to throw his enemies out of the hatch and then watch them, you know, implode in the vacuum of space. So there’s that.

3. May I suggest, if he wants to be truly evil, he ought to spit at them as they implode? It could become his signature move. If I had a nickname, it would be The Awesome. You?

The Awesomer.

4. *is momentarily silenced by the sheer gall of that statement* Utter such blasphemy once more, and I shall be forced to raise my tail and deal with you as nature intended. I hang around this blog because I love stories. What’s your story about? Bonus points if it includes a llama.

Amy is cryogenically frozen in order to be with her family on an interstellar space mission. When she’s woken up fifty years too early, she has to figure out who’s pulling the plug on the frozens…before he unplugs her parents. Meanwhile, the crew of the ship has changed and evolved. INTO LLAMAS. Murderous llamas.

5. Excellent story. Though the phrase "murderous llamas" may be a tad redundant. You’re making me a cake worthy of my awesome Were-llama status and decorating it to represent your story. What does it look like?

You know that movie, THE EMPEROR’S NEW GROOVE? Of course you do, it’s about llamas. So, I’d make you a cupcake that looks like Emperor Kuzco’s summer home, complete with water slide.

6. I graciously accept your offering as a sign of your undying fealty to ME. Any Were-llamas in your book?

SHHHH!!!! That’s who the killer is!!!!

7. Again with the redundancy. Anyone else who might be a Were-llama and you just haven’t figured it out yet?

If I told you that, then you’d know the end of the book.

8. You do realize I can command you to tell me the ending with the incredible power of my awesome red eyes, right? *LOOK, FRAIL HUMAN SPITTER, AND SPEAK* Llamas or camels and why? Think carefully.

Have you seen that show, AN IDIOT ABROAD? In it, the guy rides a camel in the desert…and the camel breaks down. They have get a pick-up truck to tow it away. Seriously. And that’s LAME. Obviously, no llama would ever break down and require a tow truck, so I’m going with llama ftw.

9. Lame is a common euphemism for camels, it's true. I give you a baby Were-llama as a companion. What do you name her?

The Awesomest.

10. Quite fitting. Except, of course, for the fact that THAT title is already taken. By moi. My favorite word is “awesome” because, yanno, look at me. What’s yours?

Aphasia

11. As a young Were-llama, I dreamt of taking over the eastern seaboard one face full of spit at a time. What did you dream of doing when you were young?

I wanted to be a writer, which is cool, because that’s what I am. I also wanted to have control over time, which is even cooler, because that’s what I do. Wait, did I say that part aloud? Ignore that. *hides timeturner*

12. You can keep your paltry control over time. I have control over YOU. Cake or cookies?

CUPCAKES ALL THE WAY. Unless it’s those peanut butter and chocolate Girl Scout Cookies.
13. Cupcakes are cruel in the same way mini candy bars are cruel. Do you share chocolate?

NEVER.

14. Unless I command you to do so. WHICH I HAVE. *takes your chocolate and eats it in one bite* The Zombie Goat invasion is upon us. How will you fight them off?

With an army of were-llamas.

Smart move. You will clearly be the winner. *wipes lips* Except in matters pertaining to chocolate.

Thank you, Beth, for such an entertaining interview! To learn more about Beth, visit her site. To purchase ACROSS THE UNIVERSE, go here.

Of course, the fun isn't over yet! Beth is giving away a signed copy of ACROSS THE UNIVERSE! Here's how to enter: (Giveaway is North America only)


1. Earn entries:

*Comment on this post = 1 entry

*Be a follower of this blog = 2 entries
*Tweet the link to this interview = 3 entries (Use @cjredwine or leave url to tweet in your comment so I can see it.)

*Post the contest on your blog or facebook= 3 entries (Include link in your comment.)

2. Tally it up:

Please tally up your entries and leave the total in your comment.

3. Check back:

The contest is open until 8 p.m. (central time) Sunday, March 20th. Please check back to see if you've won and to claim your prize!

Good luck to all, and happy reading!

Winner of DEMONGLASS!

Thank you to all who entered the contest for a signed copy of DEMONGLASS with a DG tote bag. As usual, I used random.org to choose the winner. And the winner is

Amy

Congratulations, Amy! (Your profile says you're the mom of 2 young boys and love Twilight, but gives me no way to contact you.) Please contact me with your shipping info so I can forward it on to Rachel. Thanks again, and happy reading!

Happy Birthday, Johanna!

Today is Johanna's first birthday. I'm so grateful to have this beautiful, sweet little girl in my arms. All week, I've been thinking about her birth mother. Wondering if she dreads today. If she aches. If she worries about her daughter. I wish I could tell her that Johanna is loved, cared for, and thriving. I hope, somehow, she knows.

From the first day we met her, we've seen Johanna's love of music. She wiggles and dances any time she hears a tune, and music is the way I finally broke through her crying on our first day together and got her attention.

Here, in honor of her first birthday, is a video of our precious daughter shaking her booty to the beat.

Interview With Rachel Hawkins

Many of you remember Rachel's (somewhat legendary) interview last year where she took on the Were-llama with style. You may also recall that I included Rachel's first book, HEX HALL, in my list of the best books I read in 2010. Rachel is hilarious, authentic, smart, and talented, and I couldn't wait to have her back on the blog!

DEMONGLASS, the sequel to HEX HALL, hit the shelves March 1st. As soon as I turn in my latest manuscript, I am going to be all over this book! Here's a peek:

WARNING: Spoiler alert for those of you who haven't read HEX HALL.

Sophie Mercer's first term at Hex Hall turned out to be quite eventful. First the ghost of her evil grandmother haunted her every move, then her best friend was accused of murder and of course there was the discovery that Archer Cross, aka the boy of her dreams, was actually an undercover demon hunter - which would probably be something she could have worked on, if she hadn't also discovered that she was actually the demon Archer was hunting...So, despite their issues, Sophie is actually relieved to be spending the summer in London with her father. But when your father is Head of The Council of Prodigium and your summer is being spent at the headquarters of everything magical, then a quiet holiday isn't really that likely. And, as Sophie struggles to come to terms with her new found demon powers, she finds herself thrust once again into a world of dark magic and conspiracies. The only thing that could possibly make things more complicated would be for Archer Cross to show up again, which of course he wouldn't, would he?

Since Rachel was interviewed by the Were-llama last time, I offered her the option to choose between the Spork of Doom and Captain Jack Sparrow. She chose Captain Jack. I believe her very words were, "It's HIGH TIME I got my hands on Captain Jack."

He had no objections.

I'm excited to announce that Rachel will be giving away a signed copy of DEMONGLASS and a super cool DEMONGLASS tote bag (!!) to one lucky commenter. More details on that later, but first, let me introduce today's guests.

Captain Jack Sparrow

Rachel Hawkins

Now that you know who's who, lets reveal the gorgeous cupcake my hubby made for Rachel and dive into the interview. In DEMONGLASS, Sophie is spending the summer in London. What represents London better than Big Ben? So, Rachel requested a Big Ben cupcake. The conversation went like this:

Hubby: What kind of cupcake does Rachel want?
Me: Big Ben
Hubby: As in London's Big Ben?
Me: Yes. Her book is set in London.
Hubby: Can I just put a watch on a cupcake?
Me: Rachel wants BIG BEN
Hubby: %$#@

But he came through and then some! So, without further ado, I give you Rachel with her hands on Captain Jack and the Big Ben cupcake.

1. Would you classify yourself as a pirate or a member of Her Majesty’s Royal navy? Why?


I wear a lot of scarves and once had scurvy, so I GUESS that makes me a pirate? (I’m kidding about the scurvy thing. I put enough limes in my vodka tonics to ward that shizz off.)

2. Pity. I rather like the idea of a woman who survived scurvy. What’s your favorite thing to do in Tortuga?

Start bar brawls, obvs. Oh, and say “Tortuuuuugaaaaaa” over and over again until it stops sounding like a word.

3. I feel your mind must be a wondrous strange place to be. I’m offering you free passage aboard my ship to anywhere in the world. Where shall we go, love?

Fiji. Or Bora-Bora. Or Tahiti. Wait, are those all the same places? I totally failed Geography.

4. It's alright, darling. Your prowess at bar brawls more than makes up for your stunning lack of geographical knowledge. With my compass and your right hook, who can stop us? Who is the hero of your story most like: me (savvy, debonair, and unquestionably smooth with the ladies), the insufferably honorable Will Turner, or that deceptive little minx Elizabeth?

The term ‘deceptive little minx” was practically invented for my heroine, Sophie. Although her love interest is definitely savvy, debonair, and unquestionably smooth with the ladies. Insufferably honorable people don’t do well in my books.

5. I find myself unaccountably intrigued by your heroine, although in my experience, deceptive little minxes generally result in one examining the inner digestive workings of a foul-smelling beast of myth and legend. Rum? Or more rum?

More rum. ALWAYS.

6. Darling, we must run away together. I appreciate a woman who knows how to hold her rum. Which leads me to the age old question: Why is the rum always gone?

Because I have made a bathtub full of Mojitos.

7. Marry me. What’s the most piratish thing you’ve ever done?

I got a tattoo when I was 18. And there was also a skinny-dipping incident in college. Oh, and I LITERALLY used to swab the deck on my Dad’s boat, so…yeah, my whole life has been filled with Piratish Things. Argh.

8. You can swab my deck any time you like. Are they rules? Or more like guidelines?

If I came up with them, they’re rules. If other people did, they’re guidelines.

9. It's like we share the same, rum-soaked mind. I understand you’re a story-teller. Any undead monkeys in your stories?

No, but now I have the plot for my new book, THE FOREST OF BANANAS AND POOP. Thanks!

10. Either you're brilliant, or you've emptied the bathtub full of mojitos. Any curses in your story? Heartless monsters? Irritating women who insist on taking matters into their own hands?

ALL OF THOSE THINGS AND MORE. Oh, and also fire and swords and hot make out sessions.

11. Darling, you forgot to mention you were writing my biography! Be sure to include the CAPTAIN in front of my name. One of my favorite words is “egregious.” Care to share one of yours, love?

Pamplemousse. French for grapefruit, most perfect word ever.

12. I believe I once knew a scurvy wench in Tortuga by the name of Pamplemousse. I don't think it's possible to overstate the scurvy in this instance. Parlay? Or draw your sword?

I would probably stab myself attempting to draw my sword, so due to General Physical Awkwardness, let’s go with parlay.

13. Leave the sword drawing to me, darling. You’ve got a crowd of cursed sailors and a nasty sea monster on your trail. How do you escape?

When in doubt, jet skis and flame throwers are always the answer.

14. I find myself grateful you haven't aligned yourself against me. Romantic night in? Or adventure on the high seas?

Romantic adventure on the high seas! What’s more romantical than swinging from ropes and dodging cannon balls? NOTHING.

15. Throw in a bathtub full of rum, and you've described my perfect evening. My personal motto is: Take what you want, give nothing back. What’s yours?

Sit back until you know who the a-holes are. Thanks for that one, Dad!

 
Thank you, Rachel, for such a fun interview! (Trust me. Her books are just as entertaining!) To learn more about Rachel, visit her site. To purchase DEMONGLASS, go here.
 
Of course, the fun isn't over yet! Rachel is giving away a signed copy of DEMONGLASS and an awesome DEMONGLASS tote bag! Here's how to enter: (Giveaway is North America only)
 
1. Earn entries:


*Comment on this post = 1 entry

*Be a follower of this blog = 2 entries

*Tweet the link to this interview = 3 entries (Use @cjredwine or leave url to tweet in your comment so I can see it.)

*Post the contest on your blog or facebook= 3 entries (Include link in your comment.)

2. Tally it up:

Please tally up your entries and leave the total in your comment.

3. Check back:

The contest is open until 8 p.m. (central time) Sunday, March 13th. Please check back to see if you've won and to claim your prize!

Good luck to all, and happy reading!

Whip It!

1. I am jealous of the cat pictured above.

2. I'd love to nap. Anywhere. Face first is definitely an option.

3. Most of my nights in the last week were a grand sum of 4 hours of sleep.

4. I feel like maybe I'm turning into a zombie. Though I doubt I'll be screaming BRAAAAIIINNNNZZZZ any time soon. That hardly seems a solution to my problem.

5. I might, however, scream MAAAAIIIIIDDDD, followed up by TIIIIIMMMMMEEEEE.

6. However, being busy also means I have things to blog about, so WIN for you, yes?

7. First, a writing update: I've reached the 1/2 point on my current project and am really loving it. I have three weeks to write the second half and am determined to do so.

8. Second, an embarrassing episodes update: None.

9. By my standards, anyway.

10. I went on a writer's retreat this past weekend with 24 other women and managed to not once snort liquid through my nose, walk into a bathroom door, or have the mother of all wardrobe malfunctions.

11. I did manage to lock myself IN my bedroom and had to spend five minutes jiggling the door handle and calling it all sorts of nasty names until I finally figured out the genius of a contractor who designed the place put the handle in upside down.

12. But I was alone when that happened, so there's no proof.

13. I wasn't alone when I tried karaoke for the first time.

14. Because I don't generally shy away from performing in front of others (be that public speaking, singing, or splitting the seam of my jeans while ice skating), I was the first to grab the mic.

15. Nobody else wanted it yet anyway because they hadn't had enough to drink.

16. I decided my opening number should be Bohemian Rhapsody.

17. And as you know, if I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it all the way.

18. Dear Reader, I killed it.

19. High note, headbanging (Oh, yes, I did), and all.

20. Freddy Mercury, eat your heart out.

21. The highlight of the evening, however, came after I'd already excused myself to go back into my room to write. My bedroom shared a wall with the living area. Twenty three women (many in various stages of DRINK) were on the other side of that wall. Singing. Regardless of who held the mic.

22. I had my iPod cranked to block them out, but in the second between one song ending and another beginning, I heard something that made me yank out my ear buds and check to be sure I had it right.

23. I did.

24. Twenty-three women all singing at the top of their lungs "Whip It! Whip It Good!"

25. I will never be the same.

26. And now, I'm off to see if anyone wants to trade me my kingdom for a nap.

Winner!

Thanks to all who entered the contest for a signed copy of Jill's book. (She'll be sending you book one in the series - GENTLEMEN PREFER SUCCUBI). As always, I used random.org to pick the winner. And the lucky winner is

Jemi Fraser

Congratulations, Jemi! Please email me with your shipping info, and I'll forward it on to Jill. Thanks again for entering and happy reading!

Top Ten Reasons Why I Make An Excellent Roommate

In about two hours, I'm leaving for a writer's retreat with my local RWA chapter. I have finagled my way into a room with three others by pointing out the following (completely true) reasons why I make an excellent roommate:

1. I am not a sparkly vampire. No worrying about becoming my midnight snack! No pesky glittery skin blinding your eyes when you pull back the drapes in the morning! No emo hairstyles!

2. I bring snacks. The good kind. Like Red Vines, cookies, and Chex Mix. And I SHARE.

3. I will always do something more embarrassing than you. Probably while you have your camera handy.

4. I know how to hide a body. This kind of specialized skill cannot be undervalued. You never realize how much you need it until some pretentious idiot steals your chocolate and implies you write like a hack.

5. I never steal chocolate. I don't really even like chocolate. I eat some now and then to seem polite, but honestly? It's all yours.

6. I am fabulous at self-defense. The fact that I'm more fabulous at accidental injury is neither here nor there. Besides, that only allows me plenty of opportunity to practice my awesomesauce self-defense skillz.

7. I can impersonate others. Not you, of course. Never you. But others. I'm like your very own party game, and you only have to toss me a lemon bar now and then to keep me happy.

8. I get ready fast in the morning. And I don't walk around naked. I don't really think I need to list the advantages of THAT.

9. I'm a writer. I have an over-developed imagination. If you suddenly start talking about flying pink unicorns and hot boys with swords whose tips have been dipped in the fountain of youth, I won't offer you Prozac. I'll play the What If game until a plot develops.

10. I won't feed you to zombies. I personally have nothing against zombies, but as a matter of respect for your roommate status, should a horde of brain-eating decaying shufflers descend upon us, I will throw the occupants of the other rooms to them as an appetizer while we make our getaway.

Bonus!

11. I earned my driving chops on the freeways of Los Angeles. Should the situation arise where we need to make a fast getaway, just call me Danica Patrick and get in the car.

Interview With Jill Myles

I first met Jill Myles after signing with Holly. Jill was one of the first of Holly's existing clients to welcome me to the team via Twitter. I enjoyed Jill's easygoing friendliness and sense of humor, and when the first book in her series hit the shelves, I snatched it up. Jill's books have two traits I absolutely adore--humor and edgy plot. Also? You might need a fan while reading. Trust me.

When Jill agreed to come on the blog and introduce her series to my readers, I was thrilled! MY FAIR SUCCUBI is the third in her series. Here's a peek at the series itself:

Jackie was an ordinary museum docent until a mysterious vampire and a fallen angel made her into a succubus. Now a sexy immortal, she’s caught between an age-old war between angels, demons, and the immortals exiled to earth. When everyone else is choosing sides, which will she pick? The good guy or the bad boy? Maybe she wants both…

Want to try this series for yourself? You could win a signed copy of book one! More on that later. First, let me introduce today's guests.

Were-llama

Jill Myles

Now that you know who's who, let's reveal the beautiful cupcake my hubby made in honor of Jill's series and get to the interview. Since the series follows, among others, a fallen angel, my hubby made an angelic cupcake (Which he feels is a very nice break from all the zombie parts he's had to make lately). Without further ado, I give you the cupcake and the interview!

1. So, you’re a writer. I’m a super-scary shape-shifter who can command obedience with the awesome power of my glowing red eyes. What do we have in common?


Red eyes! But mine are from peering at the computer for too long, and the fact that I’m trying to wean myself down to one cup of coffee a day.

2. Plus, I highly doubt yours command instant obedience like mine. Watch me! Only drink one cup of coffee a day! See? You're welcome. I like to spit at my enemies from whichever end is closest to them. Do any of your characters have cool abilities like that?

Most of my characters have cool abilities, but I think you are alone in the powers of projectile expectoration. Jackie (my succubus) can put people to sleep with a touch, though, and pick through their dreams. That’s pretty cool, isn’t it?

3. Only if their dreams contain sexy were-llamas. Or cookies. If I had a nickname, it would be The Awesome. You?

Indecision Girl. Actually, my friends used to joke around and say this would be my superhero name. I’m a fairly cautious person and I am not big on taking chances, so I waffle. And waffle. And try to get all sides of a story before I move forward. I was one of those people that would do the Choose Your Own Adventure, but I would read both possible scenarios before deciding which one to follow – I didn’t want to make the wrong decision!

4. No need to fear any wrong decisions! Simply looking into my eyes and OBEY. I hang around this blog because I love stories. What’s your story about? Bonus points if it includes a llama.

Alas, not a lot of llama running around in my stories. I love love stories too, though! My Succubus Diaries are kind of a wacky adventure wrapped up in a love story. It’s about a normal girl that gets turned into a succubus and finds herself immersed in a world she never even knew about – a world full of sexy, controlling angels and devilish vampires. And she finds that she’s torn between two men in particular.

5. First, I didn't say I love love stories. I said I love stories. What kind of super scary shape-shifter would I be if I got all mushy over love stories? Second, there's no need to be torn between two men. Either spit at them both, or make them your minions. Problem solved. You’re making me a cake worthy of my awesome Were-llama status and decorating it to represent your story. What does it look like?

I think it must have boobs on it. Somewhere. And wings. Wings and boobs. You’re welcome. ;)

6. You have just moved up the scale on my Awesome-meter. Also? I'm not sharing this cake. Thankfully, as I can spit at enemies from either end, I can simultaneously eat this glorious offering and guard it as well. Any Were-llamas in your book?

Not yet, but never say never.

7. That's exactly what that Bieber kid said minutes before I turned him into a were-llama. Anyone in your stories who might be a Were-llama and you just haven’t figured it out yet?

Maybe in my fall book? It’s going to be called BEAUTY DATES THE BEAST, and it just MIGHT involve ‘weres. There’s bound to be a were-llama somewhere, right?

8. For your sake, I certainly hope so. *glares with AWESOME RED EYES* Llamas or camels and why? Think carefully.

Camels, because of the hump factor. Get it, hump? (I am so twelve.)

9. You are so dead. *prepares spit* I give you a baby Were-llama as a companion.(Though after your previous grievous insult, I'm not sure I want to.) What do you name her?

CJ?

10. Hm...she does expectorate liquids with style, though regrettably she's yet to master the highly effective Shoot Them From The Basement skill that serves us were-llamas so well. My favorite word is “awesome” because, yanno, look at me. What’s yours?

Douche. It’s just kind of a catch-all, affectionate sort of insult. Pair it up with a –bag and you have my next-favorite word.

11. My next favorite word is OBEY. As a young Were-llama, I dreamt of taking over the eastern seaboard one face full of spit at a time. What did you dream of doing when you were young?

I wanted to be Indiana Jones aka an archaeologist. That never changed until senior year in high school when my art teacher (may we curse his name) had ‘career day’ and pointed out the realities of the payscales of the jobs we were pursuing. I had no idea that your average archaeologist made roughly less than the dudes at Burger King.

12. Plus at Burger King, you get a crown. Cake or cookies?

Cake, because then there’s a chance of ice cream, and ice cream is my One True Weakness.

13. My One True Weakness is a mirror because, yanno, look at me. Do you share chocolate?

Of course! That way, there is no shame of eating that many calories alone. If it’s shared, then I am not the only weak one.

14. It takes more strength to snatch chocolate from someone's unwilling hands than to share what is already yours. That's my philosophy at least. The Zombie Goat invasion is upon us. How will you fight them off?

I play a lot of Left 4 Dead on the X-Box, so I like to think that my skills of fighting off zombies with frying pans and baseball bats have been honed to a razor edge.

You humans. Honestly, it's so much easier just to gather up some bodily fluids, take aim, and let fly.


Thank you, Jill, for such an entertaining interview! See? I told you she was funny! To find out more about Jill and how to buy her books, head to her website.

Of course the fun isn't over yet! Jill is giving away a signed copy of book one, GENTLEMEN PREFER SUCCUBI, to one lucky commenter! Giveaway is for U.S. only. Here's how to enter:

1. Earn entries:


*Comment on this post = 1 entry

*Be a follower of this blog = 2 entries

*Tweet the link to this interview = 3 entries (Use @cjredwine or leave url to tweet in your comment so I can see it.)

*Post the contest on your blog or facebook= 3 entries (Include link in your comment.)


2. Tally it up:
Please tally up your entries and leave the total in your comment.


3. Check back:

The contest is open until 8 p.m. (central time) Sunday, March 6th. Please check back to see if you've won and to claim your prize!

Good luck to all, and happy reading!