Monday's List

1. It's Monday again. Wait...what?!

2. Sheesh, what a busy week it was.

3. Found another new band (new to me, at least) that I really love. Fireflight. It's Evanescence meets Red.

4. Or something like that. :D

5. And since Paul is on his honeymoon, I discovered this band before him which is totally cool because that rarely happens. (Of course the last time it did, I discovered Submersed which is by far one of the coolest new bands I've heard in a long while so I'm on a winning streak.)

6. Have my next oncologist appointment this week. (I think. Need to double check.)

7. That is never fun.

8. Some things my oncologist could do to improve the experience:

a. Dispense with the useless small talk while probing far enough to cause convulsions in my small intestines. I truly DO NOT wish to talk about my kids at that moment.
b. Warm up that stupid specula. One of these days I'm going to just snap and use it on him in return...we'll call it Advanced Sensitivity To The Plight Of The Women In Your Office Training. Asttpotwiyot for short. It's a quick, one-minute course and as a bonus, it's FREE!
c. Provide magazines in the exam room that I would actually read. Something beyond Men's GQ and Bass Pro Fishing (I kid you not.). I'm actually not all that pleased with the idea of men in general and fishing rods in particular during this exercise in frozen torture.

9. Sadly, no matter how many times I make these suggestions (and YES, I do make them), my Dr. just laughs and shakes his head and says something about enjoying my "spirit".

10. Better hope he doesn't comment about my hormones this time or my "spirit" might run away with my tongue.

11. I mentioned that Paul and Kelly's wedding was a beautiful expression of how deeply they love each other and how blessed they are with family and friends.

12. I failed to mention that my bridesmaid's dress, while undeniably gorgeous, placed me one small sneeze away from a wardrobe malfunction.

13. Not exactly the moment I wish to have recorded forever on my best friends' wedding video.

14. Thankfully, Kelly had us carrying carved wood flowers (looked real but without that pesky pollen) so my assets remained precariously in place.

15. I believe I've never mentioned on this blog before that in the early days of my marriage, before I realized that Victoria's Secret was my friend no matter how much she costs, I went to Disneyland with some girl friends wearing an undergarment purchased from Walmart.

16. Not the wisest choice for a girl with curves.

17. We decided to ride the Star Tours ride - a 3-D romp through the galaxy where you buckle yourself into a row of seats and hold on to the arm rests for dear life.

18. Only I was sandwiched between a friend and some teenage boy who was just clueless enough not to realize that the armrests were supposed to be shared. That's the point of the extra width and the line carved into the middle.

19. Thus I was left hanging onto one arm rest while we bounced our way through the ride.

20. Things were relatively fine until we hit the part of the ride where our spaceship was dodging a meteor shower - unsuccessfully, it turned out.

21. We hit a meteor, the entire ship shuddered and lunged and, lacking a second handhold, I bounced significantly in my seat and punched myself in the chin with my chest.

22. And yes, my friend happened to be looking at me when it happened so no, I never lived it down.

23. My loving friends suggested that I should have them licensed, like black belts license their hands.

24. Very funny.