Monday, July 6, 2009
Spazzing Out Is Hard Work
1. In case you were wondering, Spastic Kitten doesn't always spaz.
2. Sometimes she sleeps. (see above)
3. Although the true nature of her mental instability is always apparent to the discerning eye.
4. We spent all day Friday at Nashville Shores, a water amusement park.
5. I learned two valuable lessons.
6. One, when applying sunscreen to yourself, do not get distracted by the antics of your spawn and forget to slather your face.
7. Two, women considering a tattoo on their stomachs should think long and hard about the eventual effects of childbirth and gravity.
8. Mosquitoes, apparently, love me.
9. Every time I hang around outside at dusk, I get eaten alive.
10. My kids and Clint are basically immune.
11. This A) is not fair and B) makes me glad I've never met a vampire as my blood seems to be a hot commodity.
12. The other night I had so many bites on my feet, I couldn't sleep well because of the itch.
13. I tried calamine lotion but it didn't help.
14. Clint told me to cover the bites with scotch tape.
15. I was just desperate enough to follow through on this hair-brained suggestion.
16. It worked--cut the itch down to an ignorable annoyance.
17. The next day, my kids were very interested to know why I had scotch tape all over my feet.
18. Once I explained it to them, the Scientist exclaimed "If scotch tape helped a little, you should try duct tape! I bet that would fix it!"
19. Just like a man--thinks duct tape fixes everything.
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