One-Legged King Pigeon

I need a viable exercise plan for summer time because my current "toss the kids into the air while at the pool" routine isn't doing much to build lean muscle and disguise my addiction to Hot Tamales (which are of the devil).

Fall through Spring, I walk 1.6 miles around our neighborhood, about half of that uphill. Summer, though, I don't because a) it's freaking hot and I really don't want to do something embarrassing like pass out or walk into someone's mailbox (which I have not done and if the man living in the white two story with the wrap-around porch says otherwise, he's a dirty, rotten liar) and b) the kids are home and I don't pay enough taxes for the kind of emergency response team needed to mop up after leaving three boys on their own for 20 minutes.

Someone suggested jogging but I have to be honest here - I won't willingly run unless something meaner is chasing me with the intent to cause serious bodily injury. This includes running on a treadmill. Treadmills require either excellent feet/eye coordination or the ability to multi-task regardless of distractions. I possess neither. Last time I tried running on a treadmill I very nearly did a flip-flop-and-shoot-off-the-back-end-into-the-wall that would have earned me a cast, a trip to the hospital, and a pair of shiny new dentures to replace the teeth I'd left impaled in the carpet.

I need something indoors, where I can take advantage of the air conditioning, and something not likely to send me careening into innocent bystanders.

Yoga has been suggested as well and I can try that on my wii fitness. At night. When there are no witnesses to see what happens when a woman with plenty of flexibility but no sense of balance attempts to hold Fainting Goat for two minutes. Oh, don't give me that look. There are positions called Walking The Dog and One-Legged King Pigeon. I'm sure there's a Fainting Goat.

I can do sit-ups and push-ups at home. Of course, both of those would be much easier if I didn't own pets. Push-ups are apparently an invitation for my cat to wind her way under my upraised body and then raise her tail to give me her best angle as I settle back to the floor. Sit-ups are accomplished with much firm commands to my large Chow hound to Go Away. Lie Down. No, Not There. Somewhere Else. Somewhere That Does Not Include Any Body Part Of Mine. No, You Are Soooo Not A Lap Dog.

So I need a summer exercise program that doesn't include walking or jogging or treadmills or complicated yoga. Any ideas? :)