Week In Review

1. We did not continue our tradition of blowing up cakes this 4th.

2. Instead, my hubby (and our new neighbor) and my children experimented with what would happen if you threw a lit M90 into a bucket of water (serious water displacement), what would happen if you piled used fireworks containers on top of an M90 (serious bonfire), and how high Mom's voice could go if you stuck a handful of lit sparklers into an empty Diet Coke can.

3. I can tell you this: if Daredevil thinks he's ever going to get his license or his own car or, for that matter, his own book of matches, he's got another think coming.

4. I have to take a moment to express our entire family's deep gratitude to those who are serving or have served (and to the families of those who serve) in our military. We honor your service and your sacrifice.

5. We took the kids to Nashville Shores on Thursday because my hubby had a radio gig there. Translation: we didn't have to pay to get in. ;)

6. There are pools, fountains, huge buckets that relentlessly fill and then dump icy water on everyone foolish enough to be in a fifty foot radius, water slides of every description, banana boat rides, a lake to swim in, and various other forms of entertainment, all revolving around water.

7. We spent most of our time in the lake because it was the only body of water that was actually warm. Again, we had to reiterate our No Talking To Strangers Rule for Daredevil (although when he pointed out to one woman that she was unlikely to fit into the single intertube she was determinedly wedging over her hips, he was entirely accurate. His problem has never been honesty. His problem is tact.)

8. The 9-4 is beginning to make a strange, high-pitched digital ringing noise while I drive it.

9. I applied all of my considerable mechanical expertise to the problem and was able to rule out slamming my hand against any portion of the dashboard as a possible cure.

10. One of my biggest pet peeves at work is people who drop things on the floor and then don't bother to pick them up, leaving their discarded forks, napkins, or entire pieces of chicken for me to scrounge for after they leave.

11. This is appropriate behavior if, say, you've been held captive all of your life in a baboon habitat and therefore can't be expected to know any better, or if you're the kind of person who is too lazy to pick up after yourself but rich enough to make it worth my while.

12. A $50 tip should about cover my loss of dignity.

13. If you are one of the many who either has no family history with baboons or isn't prepared to spot me a Grant, then you should jolly well lean down and pick up what you've dropped.

14. The other night I waited on a family that were demanding enough to set my teeth on edge. When I checked on them after their dinners arrived, I was informed that their daughter (who was easily 10) had dropped her fork and needed another.

15. I don't find that irritating in the least. I'm uncoordinated, remember? I know all about dropping things you meant to keep.

16. What I did find irritating was the evidence of the dirty fork lying there on the floor. I'd had enough.

17. I held out my hand and said, "I'd be happy to bring a clean fork out. I'll just take the dirty one back now."

18. The woman looked confused and said, "Oh, it's right there on the floor."

19. "I'll wait," I said and I did. I stood there with my hand out, waiting, until the woman looked at her daughter and instructed her to pick up the fork and hand it to me. Then I smiled and politely retrieved a new fork for them.

20. I like to think it was a character building experience for them all.

21. Reader Question: Tell me one of your biggest pet peeves.